Relax, falling in love is really not that difficult



On weekend nights, I would like to recommend a relaxing column to everyone:


#Love can still be talked about like this#


From the whole editorial department, Tu Lala is the student who spends the most time, effort and research on the matter of falling in love, but yet “fails repeatedly”.


This is her daily update question:


“Why can’t I fall in love??”


Obviously I am actively socializing every day, but I just can’t get into a relationship.


Today’s article is her experience of “failed love”:


When it comes to falling in love, no matter how many tricks, tricks or psychology you use, it won’t work. You have to take action——


It’s like hitting a straight shot in love.


You have to show your sincerity, express your feelings, and be the one who takes the initiative to serve.


I hope that everyone can hit the ball straight in love, and that there will be someone who can catch your ball.




Recently I have become obsessed with a “love guru”, Song Ji Ah.



Maybe you have heard of her name. She is a female guest on a love show. She can be called “the girl who talks best about love”.


The core skills of love are:


Hit the ball straight.


Let me give you a few examples, and you will instantly understand what “hitting the ball straight” means.


For example, to express good feelings——


Other girls are running around in circles:


“We both like sports;

Only you and I have something in common. ”



Song Ji Ah:


“I like you,

My favorite is you. ”




When love happens, I have to let you know.


For example, if you feel liked, how should you respond?


Other girls are uneasy and want to test again and again——


“You like me now,

Will you like someone else next time? ”




Song Ji Ah is not. The joy at this moment must be responded to at this moment:


“You (with me),

Looks very happy. ”




It will even occupy a dominant position.


“Do you think it’s cute just like this?

Then you will be stunned by me in the future. ”



Watching Song Ji Ah fall in love is so “heart-warming”. After a few rounds, you find that she has no skills or routines, just one rule:


Show love directly and receive love directly.


This is also the charm of straight shots in love:


Not a backspin, not a side kick,


It is a sincere ball that is straight to the point.




I am completely a “love-challenged student” in the editorial department, and I often ask:


What do people who fall in love do right?


Thinking about it carefully recently, I found that they all have one thing in common, that is, they can “hit the ball straight.”


The problems faced by many people are nothing more than:


Love happened instantly,

Love disappeared in an instant.


Can’t catch it.


I can’t express my feelings, I can’t be ambiguous, I can’t seize the most critical timing in love.


That’s why we have to “hit the ball straight”.


——It’s not easy to have a heartbeat, so don’t neglect it, let alone miss it.


Take a look at this classic relationship-building move below, which I call a “love icebreaker”:


“As for the doctor, he probably doesn’t have a boyfriend, because he is very busy?”

“If you’re a soldier, you probably don’t have a girlfriend, because it’s too hard?”



——The relationship is at a stalemate. If it drags on any longer, it will become a “dead stalemate” and must be broken.


One of my favorite “straight-shooting” clips comes from the Korean drama “The Life of a Witty Doctor”.


The two have been friends for many years.


He knows all her hobbies. I know she is greedy, I know she likes rain, I know she likes to eat noodles on rainy days.


But he had a secret love, and for many years, she didn’t understand his thoughts.


The relationship was “stagnant” until the hero hit the nail on the head.


On a rainy night, the two of them had dinner.


The hostess asked: “What have you done recently to make yourself happy?”


He replied:


“Just like now,

Eat meals with you and drink coffee with you.

I did these things for myself. ”



Every time I see this, my heart skips a few beats.


This is showing your sincerity.


I love this “exposure” so much. I believe you will feel the same way. When people fall in love nowadays, their instinct is to escape, hide, push and pull.


Always approach love in a curled-up posture.


Just like in “Reply 1988”, it’s still hard to forget that I missed it——


Deshan and Zhenghuan.


Deshan offered sincere confirmation time and time again, while Zhenghuan dodges time and time again.


That’s why he is Aze, the Aze who can hit the straight ball, and the Aze who will not be given a red light by love.



Just like our love, we have felt the spark of love.


But love itself is fluid and perishable,


You can’t just wait for something good to happen.



But I can also understand that many people are afraid to hit the ball straight.


To talk like this, you must open yourself up.


Just throw it out, it’s all sincerity.


If you’re lucky, you’ll be caught. If you have bad luck, you will inevitably experience a broken life.


Hitting a straight ball is a “hard landing” of sincerity, which is bound to be risky, so we often choose a “soft landing”.


For example, you often wait passively.


There are too many friends around me who will tell their “flourishing love” to their best friends, diaries, astrologers, goldfish and cats, but they won’t tell the person whose heart is moving.



Love is fluid.


Love often gets lost in misunderstandings.


For example, I always do “imaginary questions” in my mind, but I can’t solve them directly.


Because I always get frustrated when I fall in love, and I want to know the reason, I always like to visit a Douban group:


What does he mean by this?



Everyone uses a “microscope” to fall in love, posting screenshots of chats, the other person’s recent behavior, and all kinds of speculations:


Is he rejecting me in disguise?

Don’t any boys have the desire to share?

Does he not want to see me at all?

Am I being hated?


Love is a chemical reaction between two parties.


You leave the reactor without touching reality or practice,


In the end, it often only becomes an intracranial “conjecture”.


Of course, I also know that “whether the opponent can catch the ball” is very important.


But to hit the ball straight, you have to be clear.


You must be honest with yourself. The motivation for all your actions comes from yourself.


“Will he hate me?”

“Will he laugh at me?”

“Will he be sincere to me?”


None of these questions should be considered by you.


All you need to do is pay attention to your feelings.


Here I want to talk about another straight ball player, Akana Rika.


She will say:


“Although I am like this,

But I just like that I love you so much,

ball. ”



Regardless of whether I can be caught or not, I will throw out my sincerity.


Isn’t this a bravery worthy of tears?


A straight shot in love,


Only brave people can throw it, and only sincere people can catch it.



Today, I want to write this article for girls who, like me, are always unable to fall in love.


Indeed, love happens.


But we failed to protect love.


The famous counselor Christopher Meng once described this frustrating state of affairs:


We tend to protect the most vulnerable parts of ourselves.


To become an emotionally mature adult,

It is important to break through this protection mechanism,

and face our feelings,

Only then can you discover the most amazing secrets of the soul.


What is the mind’s most amazing secret?


It’s you who actually enters into a good relationship, nurtures it, and enjoys the fruits of your cultivation.


Enjoy this magical experience even more:


“you and me,

It’s us now. ”



So try playing straight in love.


Just like if you want to be a guest at someone’s home, you must knock on the door first.


If you want to get into a person’s heart, you have to knock on his heart door first.


If you can knock it open, go in; if you can’t knock it, go to the next one. There’s always one you can knock on.


Nowadays, when it comes to love, there is always too much emphasis on winning and losing.


If you take the initiative to express your feelings, you will lose. If you expose your softness, you will lose.


But think about it carefully, whether it is table tennis, badminton, or tennis, the purpose of hitting a straight ball in any arena is not to win you.


But I want you to catch the ball,


I hope I can play with you longer.



The over-packaged world, the layers of sincerity and twists and turns of love,


People who are sincere always retreat again and again.


I don’t want to, I want to put the key to my heart into your hand,


And hang “Welcome” in big letters and bold letters on the door!





Written by: Turala
Internship: Lin Shen
Editor: Ding Ding



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Evensong time:


It’s not easy to get excited,
Never let go of anyone who can make your heart beat.

As Song Ji Ah said:
“If confession can bring the relationship closer,
Then I will confess.
I will tell him unconditionally,
I like you. “